i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
