with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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