Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
