Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So much Jack, so little girl.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
