Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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