i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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