The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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