This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
