Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
