I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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