Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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