nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
