Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
