he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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