let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
