no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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