Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Randomize
