I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Are my feet made of real feet?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
