it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
