Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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