How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
