Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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