Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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