No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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