just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
