I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
