and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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