And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
