I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Terrible idea I love it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
