You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
