i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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