She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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