my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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