I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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