I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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