Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
