I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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