some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize