she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
