Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize