Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
