All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
