I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
