We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize