Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize