i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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