Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
