I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You pole danced in your parka.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize