I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
