I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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