Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
