their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
