If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize