She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
This girl is more easily done than said...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
