The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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