can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
