So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just found puke in my bra..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is her dick bigger than yours?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
