You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
