it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
