I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
