yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
