we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
