So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
