u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
