I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
