just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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