If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How external is "for external use only"?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
