'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
