Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
