sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
