I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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