I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
