i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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