Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
