You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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