im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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