can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
