So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
