sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
