he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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