I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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