I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
