Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
