More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
